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| Dinner last night...going left to right, my Mom, my sister-in-law, Dreamweaver, me, my Dad, and my brother! It was a wonderful day, all around! And one of the happiest days of my life! |
Yesterday, Dreamweaver and I went to see "My Fair Lady" at the local theater with my brother and his wife. Which was fabulous - it is a "small community theater" that is excellent beyond belief and has launched the careers of notable actors, including Joanne Woodward! And then afterwards we all went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, with my parents for my Dad's birthday. (He's 84 years old now.)
Now, while I have been aware that there has been no way my brother and sister in law could not KNOW we are a couple, it has remained unspoken, period. You know the thin ice I tread with my conservative Father (click this to go to a post about him.) Coming out of the restaurant, and well out of ear shot of our parents, my sister-in-law asked if we were on Face Book and could she friend us. Now, my FB account is locked down...privacy settings are set for incinerate from orbit. Specifically because of relatives. (Not necessarily them - remember, my birth mother's side of the family, while sweet people, are rabidly conservative.) We kind of hedged and dodged and winced - she knew we were on Face Book, because she had seen the friend suggestion come up for me, just as I have seen it come up for her, in the past. Its not like we could lie, nor did we really want to. And to be honest, I didn't think they would have a problem with us, but there is that fear that comes with not knowing for sure. Once words are spoken they cannot be unsaid.
Now, while I have been aware that there has been no way my brother and sister in law could not KNOW we are a couple, it has remained unspoken, period. You know the thin ice I tread with my conservative Father (click this to go to a post about him.) Coming out of the restaurant, and well out of ear shot of our parents, my sister-in-law asked if we were on Face Book and could she friend us. Now, my FB account is locked down...privacy settings are set for incinerate from orbit. Specifically because of relatives. (Not necessarily them - remember, my birth mother's side of the family, while sweet people, are rabidly conservative.) We kind of hedged and dodged and winced - she knew we were on Face Book, because she had seen the friend suggestion come up for me, just as I have seen it come up for her, in the past. Its not like we could lie, nor did we really want to. And to be honest, I didn't think they would have a problem with us, but there is that fear that comes with not knowing for sure. Once words are spoken they cannot be unsaid.
...and then she smiled this beautiful smile at us and said, "Guys, we know, OK? We know. Its OK...its not a problem for us. We love you! You're family!"
I feel like I am walking on air...I am Officially, admittedly Out to my brother and his wife, and they accept us and are allies! And they know we tiptoe around Dad, and why, and they get it! I just kind of threw my arms around her and just got the best hug in the world ever back from her.
And I know there are people who are going to say yeah, we're not surprised, how could they not know...but just the sheer relief of now knowing that I can trust them, that if things were ever to go bad with my Father, that they will always be family for us.
Its not been about trying to HIDE, its been about not acknowledging the white elephant on the coffee table...and those unspoken words. Well, the elephant has been named and claimed...and I have relatives that I am now free to be open with, safe with.
And that we love them and they love us!
As who and what we are.
I feel like the weight of the world has lifted off my shoulders today!
I feel like I am walking on air...I am Officially, admittedly Out to my brother and his wife, and they accept us and are allies! And they know we tiptoe around Dad, and why, and they get it! I just kind of threw my arms around her and just got the best hug in the world ever back from her.
And I know there are people who are going to say yeah, we're not surprised, how could they not know...but just the sheer relief of now knowing that I can trust them, that if things were ever to go bad with my Father, that they will always be family for us.
Its not been about trying to HIDE, its been about not acknowledging the white elephant on the coffee table...and those unspoken words. Well, the elephant has been named and claimed...and I have relatives that I am now free to be open with, safe with.
And that we love them and they love us!
As who and what we are.
I feel like the weight of the world has lifted off my shoulders today!
Oh that sweet, sweet feeling of knowing you are accepted! I'm happy for you!
ReplyDeleteD'aaaaaaaaw! That is so wonderful! I am so happy for you!
ReplyDelete