Sunday, March 20, 2016

An Excellent Evening!

My church had a St. Patrick's Celebration last night! And it was incredibly awesome. Excellent Irish music, excellent corned beef dinner, wonderful fellowship with friends and a particularly unexpected lovely moment for me...
I took my bodhran with me, on the off chance that I might get to play it. (Wore my Utilikilt too!) 
It turns out that my church had a professional music duo, Lucy Allen and Marshall Goers, there to play. They, to my utter surprised delight, invited me up to play with them, were extremely forgiving of my being somewhat rusty, as I am out of practice, and all in all, made me feel most welcome and accepted! What a joy!
Lucy Allen and Marshal Goers
Years ago, while I was never a "professional" musician, or "well known" even, I did reach the level of doing some hometown performances and "playing out" in local venues. I loved it, and it is perhaps not inconceivable that it might have led eventually to at least maybe a small career move in doing it semi-professionally, though I would have never been able to quit my day job, I assure you! But as the poet says, "...way leads on to way..." and I wound up taking different journeys in my life.

Sitting in with Lisa and Marshall
Due to those different choices and directions over the years, I haven't exactly let music pass out of life by any means, but playing my instruments, drum and guitar, has slipped away to take a back seat to other things. Art for one, since that did become a career choice. And the fact that a number of events over the past few years especially have been difficult and even devastating. And this has affected many things in my life. Writing in my blog now is an attempt to work my way quite a few things.

Hence the woefully out of practice part of playing my bodhrán this evening. I will say, that I don't think I actually disgraced myself, but yes, it was obvious I was out of practice for anyone experienced in playing one.

Dreamweaver, by the way, took the pictures!
I do have to say, over the past few years, despite some of the...what is the word I want? Let's just stick to "changes", shall we? Despite the unexpected changes that have jerked me in completely unexpected directions, the impulse to renew my time spent with making music has been growing. Perhaps not in spite of, but because of these changes, even! It has been very hard, however, to break out of years of stasis and neglect of practice; paralysis I'd call it. Meanwhile, the urge to pick up my drum or guitar has kept growing. It's felt a bit like being ground between two exceptionally large mill stones. 
Some serious concentration
going on here! 

So perhaps tonight was a blessed opportunity to break that stasis, get my feet wet again, unlimber those rusty skills and rediscover the joy of making music. Feels good that perhaps it has not slipped away altogether after all! And maybe, just maybe, I can use this wonderful moment as that stepping stone forward to playing more, and letting music back into my life in the way it used to be years ago!

Meanwhile, it was a wonderful St. Patrick's Day moment, 
with the Irish music I love, and I had a blast! 
Tá dea-Lá Fhéile Pádraig go léir! 
Beannaithe Bí !

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Return to Blogging: Changes...and Loss.

The last post on my blog, oh my god, was exactly a year and a day ago...March 15th, 2015. I had just dealt with my father having had a stroke, and then, after a gap and a return to blogging, we lost a beloved kitten we had adopted after only about a week with her.
I hit a wall. I couldn't post for the longest time, because it just brought up the loss of Fand, the kitten. And then, even as that began to ease, other things took over.
My dad developed dementia and I was doing what I could to help my mom and family and their church to care for him - and mom too.
And I have a lot to write about that.
But all that abruptly changed in January, on the 26th, forever.
My father passed away.
1928 - 2016
And's changed everything. I'm pretty lost without him. I don't have a road map for how to get through this. So, it's time to start blogging again. First of all, I never meant for the blog to ever languish as long as it has. But also, I guess I can think of no better way to begin to work my way through trying to remember him, honor him, and deal with losing him. So, we're over the first hurdle.
My dad died in January.
I've written those words out and said them.
If I can do that, then I can take the next step and the next.
One day at a time, one blog post at a time.
So, tomorrow night, I'll be right back here. For the next post. And somehow, I will figure out how and where to start to put it all back together again.
I don't know if anybody will read it or is still checking on an apparently innactive blog.
I would certainly apreciate thoughts and feed back from anybody who is.
 But if all I manage to do is begin to work out my own thoughts and heart and find my way back from this loss (and others), then, well, this is what this is here for.
So...see ya tomorrow night.
Good night, Dad.
I miss you!