Six years ago today, we came together in the beginnings of what would become our marriage. We were both fairly battered by life's storms and neither of us had a clue that out of the chaos surrounding our beginnings would rise the most stable, precious, tender, passionate relationship that either of us have ever known!
In the middle of that chaos six years ago, as I lost ( I thought) everything - my previous relationship, my house, my car, my career - you gave me back faith in myself, that I once again I could believe that I was a whole person on my own, strong enough to stand on my own two feet. You believed in me, when I could not believe in myself, and even more important, you believed in us at a time when we were separated and broken up. Your faith, your love and your passion gave me hope and courage to come to you and to build a future with you. Yes, I am a whole person...but I also know what its like to live without you in my life, and I don't intend to ever have to do it again!
I treasure the memory of getting down on one knee, ring in my hand, to propose to you on stage, live mike, before a rowdy bar of lesbians! I treasure the memories of quiet days spent together, talking, touching, learning each others hearts...I can even - now that I am safely here in your arms treasure and laugh with you over some of the darker humored moments of the chaos of our beginning - such as you mowing the car! (inside joke, I know). I treasure so many moments, both large and small, from thrilling to mundane that we have shared together...and I treasure the joy of looking forward to a life time to share together, by grace and love....
You challenge me every day to be more, to be better, to grow and dream and think...you love me unconditionally, no matter what - even when I forget to put away the laundry, and get lost in an artists fog of creativity. You support my art and my dreams whole-heartedly, put up with paint everywhere, strange schedules as I work on murals and erratic paychecks. You come and sit with me and read to me and visit with me as I paint on walls...a wonderful shared thing!You encouraged me to go back to school - one of the biggest, scariest steps I have ever taken - and have stood by me as I have struggled forward through power points, all nighters and 25 page term papers....
You have walked every step of the way with me through my own healing and recovery from trauma and abuse and never once flinched back from my own PTSD and flashbacks. You have honored my unexpected realization that I am dealing with Trans and GID issues, and are standing by me through this, despite your own fears and doubts - I believe they call that heroic courage!
You are my best friend, my lover, my wife...you share your spiritual journey with me, and walk with me in mine, creating a wholeness that is greater than the sum of it's parts. You keep me sane when my family makes me crazy, you let me cry on your shoulder at need. You think my boi self is cute and you are crazy about him, and you also love my feminine side when she giggles...
You accept me as I am. But maybe even more importantly, you unconditionally accept and love the person I am becoming, where ever my life's journey leads. I am so grateful that we found each other, that we are together, that our love is strong and has the experience and skills to survive and thrive for a life time...
Because I am going to spend that life time with you!
So, I guess the question is...whatcha doing in the next lifetime? Is that a date?
I love you with all my heart, and all that I am or ever will be.
I love you with all my heart, and all that I am or ever will be. Your best friend,
your lover,
your wife,
your artist,
your Tigger....
Always!
Cameron
