tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1046770203613119482.post6124944817419284999..comments2023-10-18T05:03:46.292-07:00Comments on Walking the Labyrinth: Monotheism, Polytheism and this Episcopagan's Journey - The Silent Years.Cameronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13378591363411441816noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1046770203613119482.post-82714824558260327902009-11-09T18:50:56.747-08:002009-11-09T18:50:56.747-08:00Dreamweaver, thanks for your beautiful words about...Dreamweaver, thanks for your beautiful words about Couch Potato. One thing his and my relationship over 22 years; 10 of those years married, proved was that nothing is ever simple. He was a complex man - loving, gentle, tend and giving. He was also socially difficult, rude, unthinking, and in the end abusive. There will come a post here wherein I will write about those years with him in detail - his elegy so to speak. Suffice to say here, for those who read this blog - posts and comments - that the side effects of Myatonic Dystrophy can manifest with cognitive abnormalities including developmental delays, learning problems, language, speech, behavior, apathy or hypersomnia.Couch Potato had ALL of these...and they grow progressively worse, geometrically so, with time and age. He was relatively normal when we met. By the end, the Myatonic Dystrophy had utterly destroyed him. <br />I think that fateful fall in 2005 was a catastrophic jump in symptomology for him, particularly in cognitive areas. I don't think he understood what had happened to him; I think he was confused and lost in his own mind, frightened and unable to express what was happening to him. And so he turned inwards...<br />And I had no way of knowing what had happened. It was a sad thing.Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13378591363411441816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1046770203613119482.post-73946635697444948332009-11-09T18:30:10.315-08:002009-11-09T18:30:10.315-08:00Debra - yes, in the end there is that moment where...Debra - yes, in the end there is that moment where if you are not congruent with who you really are, a final decision must be made. However, not everybody chooses to move to self-truth. I did a paper on this a few semesters back, on the concept of Identity Foreclosure. Many people have so much invested in the lies that they have been told and the lies they tell themselves that it becomes impossible to make that change. So the foreclose on the development of true self identity. (the title of this paper - 25 pages of it! - is "Modeling an Art Therapy Intervention to Aid in Overcoming Identity Foreclosure and Facilitating Self-Acceptance in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Student Populations with Fundamentalist Religious Backgrounds". Writing it took over my life...) So, not everyone makes the jump, unfortunately. But as Dreamweaver said in her comment to Light - self authenticity lets you sleep at night in peace, but your days can become fairly interesting!Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13378591363411441816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1046770203613119482.post-2691725564108861652009-11-09T13:48:01.748-08:002009-11-09T13:48:01.748-08:00Having known and loved Couch Potato, it's hard...Having known and loved Couch Potato, it's hard to believe that such a gentle man could have been so abusive. Funny thing what chronic illness, unchecked, unspoken, and slow deterioration can do to man, to a marriage and to a woman in love.<br /><br /> Yet the first time I met Couch Potato, I couldn't imagine you together...it just didn't fit. All I could think was, "what was she doing with him?!"<br /><br /> Over the years I learned to love him, first because you loved him, then later because he was family. Perhaps I loved him best as he lay dying, clinging to you like a child, cherishing you, comforting me. He allowed us to share a sacred space as he lay dying, and now it's hard to match the abusive man who created PTSD in you to the man in the bed, or our hearts.Grace Dreamweaverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16222065500281314019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1046770203613119482.post-83137506369155263862009-11-09T05:40:03.414-08:002009-11-09T05:40:03.414-08:00Isn't it funny how our True Self MUST emerge, ...Isn't it funny how our True Self MUST emerge, no matter how hard we try to ignore or suppress it? It's painful at the time, but so worth it in the long run, isn't it?Debra She Who Seekshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01845703092794695023noreply@blogger.com